Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Spinning a Schpiel

Spinning a schpiel, you ask?  You know the people I mean.  You probably have at least one friend that comes to mind when you read "Official Schpiel Spinner".  The type of person that talks on and on about really nothing at all.  Or, talks only of themselves and never stops to take a breath.  Or, if they do stop it is to switch subjects of "me", "Me", or "ME".

I recently met one such person.  She seemed nice enough and normal enough.  She used regular speech and made eye contact.  Her children were pleasant and it all seemed dandy.  Until, the schpiel began to flow from her never-closed lips.  Between the I've-been-there and I've-done-that and I'm-gonna-do-that was a cry of insecurity.  The woman was silently screaming "I'm insecure!"  "I'm lonely inside!".

My first reaction was to cross her off my potential friends list.  I know what you are thinking!  Isn't it ugly to think I have such a list?  I unfairly make a first impression judgement and put potential friends in one of three columns: No Way Jose, I'll Let You Know, or Ding Ding Ding!  What does this say about ME?  Call me a Judgemental Judy - I certainly deserve it!

Although this subject of prejudgement could stand alone (and I will come back to this another time), I'll chalk it up to Pride.  In my mind, PRIDE = INSECURITY.  Pride and its ugly stepsister, fear, are the basis for my own insecurity.  We all suffer from feelings of being less than absolutely, positively, 100% secure.  It may mean we exhibit an effort at controlling insecurity through being a Chatty Cathy, in- and out-of-control eating, smoking, pornography, spending greenbacks, exercise (or lack thereof), and whatever else we can grasp to cover ourselves.

Some of us have actual GOOD reasons for feeling a lack of security: abandonment, abuse, neglect, stressful life changes, death, birth, job loss, addiction, and so on.  But just because there is a reason for it doesn't mean we should wallow in it like a grunting hog. 

Time to get out of the mud, suey!

In So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore, I read the following sentence and was floored:  "I not only lack security, I also lack faith.  I don't just doubt myself, I also doubt God about myself" (p. 18).  Shut the front door!  That really hit me.  I am actually doubting God, the Maker of all that is seen and unseen. When I walk around with the burden of insecurity, pride, and fear heaped upon my shoulders I am dishonoring the Lord and His work in and through me.  What a new thought in my dense head.

The wonderful thing about insecurity? We can pour it all out on the Lord.  Psalm 42:11 says:

Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.

Another favorite of mine:

I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set me feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in Him.   Psalm 40:1-3

The Liar above all liars would have us believe that we must tote our insecurities around in a giant suitcase, adding to it each day a new issue or concern.  But as you just read, it is a LIE! We are to take comfort in the Gift the Lord has given us.  2 Corinthians 4:6-7 says "God, who said, Let light shine out of darkness" gave us the ultimate light to shine from the inward out.  We can be on fire with His radiating light through Jesus Christ!  Take a back seat insecurity!

However, I am similar to the Israelites who constantly were faced with choosing God's path or their own.  As we know, they choose their own more times than we can count.  I, too, favor my own way.  I am consistently faced with decisions that threaten to swallow me in a sea of insecurity or choosing the safety net the Lord has graciously thrown around me.  I take comfort in this last verse: God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear. Psalm 46:1-2

Adios Insecurity.  Well, almost.